The banality of Twitter
I use Twitter as do many of the folks I work and play with. Why do we use it? I think there are four types of Twitter users:
1) Try-anything-oncers – They made an account and stopped using it immediately.
2) Lifecasters – Folks who are basically telling about 10 close friends what they’re up to. The vast majority of Tweeters.
3) Egocasters – I’ll admit that I’m in this category. These are Twitterers who Tweet to be heard. “In plane on way to sex with the Queen Mother” or “@scobleizer I was just thinking that while I was making lots of money on the Internet” are two egregious examples. Others are “Hello, Tweeters! Just had my coffee” and “I like turtles.”
4) Robots
I woke up this morning to read a flurry of Tweets from many of the leading lights of the Internet revolution. Some examples: “LOL! Just had two shots of espresso!” “eating breakfast with @barakobama and @stanleykubrick’s son” “Just spilled my cereal on my floor!”
It was like reading the rantings of a narcissistic incarnation of Hello Kitty: cutesy and full of false bravado masquerading as innocence. As a result, I released a series of Tweets describing my toilet habits. The result was a series of Tweets back claiming I had been hacked, as if my little rant had been the work of drooling juveniles. Maybe it was, but I had not be hacked.
Samuel Pepys wrote about his bowel movements. Charles Bukowski wrote about his drunken rages. William Burroughs wrote about gay sex under the influence of opiates. What does our generation write about? Hitting #starbucks at #sxsw09 with @juliaalison and @cyborggerbil. Seriously, people. We can now transmit our thoughts to millions of people. Let’s make those thoughts count. Let’s talk about human things. Let’s talk about how to solve economic problems. I seriously do not care about your cat, your drive to work, or the fact that you’re on a flight to Cabo. Let’s man up.



hahahah… it all makes sense now…
IM convo with friend a couple hours ago:
Me: dude… what is up with John Biggs’ tweets today?
friend: whats he saying?
Me: i dunno, like 30 posts in past 6 hours
Me: 90% on going to the bathroom
Friend: haha
Friend: hmm. maybe he thinks twitter is ridiculous and he has a stomach virus so he’s saying what he’s doing in 140 characters or less
Friend: or maybe he thinks you want to know
Friend: i think its tongue in cheek
Me: yeah
Me: I dunno
Aha – so that’s why you were tweeting from the loo. You were doing research.
There is always unfollow.
Inspiring. Vive la revolution!
I thought you were drunk…but then wondered who was taking care of that baby.
Bravo. Bravo.
(On a side note: way to make toilet paper a tax write-off. Inspirational.)